WhatsupwithJan

Thursday, April 27, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Thursday, April 27, 2006-9:18PM Arizona time
The final leg of Jan's journey took us to her
Memorial service held earlier tonight at the Heritage
Chapel. We celebrated Jan's life with tears and laughter
and an abundant measure of hope and joy. Thank you for
the memories and the stories and the consolation of
your presence and support.

And so the blog of Jan's Journey ends just inside the doorstep
of heaven where a new angel is testing her wings with joy
and remembering her friends with a smile.

Jan, Pat, Veronica and Tyler

Saturday, April 22, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Saturday, April 22, 2006-7:46PM Arizona time
This will be the next to last "Whats up with Jan" blog. The final blog will be written after the Memorial service on Thursday.

There has been so much kindness extended to our family both when Jan was alive and now after she is gone that we are overwhelmed by everyone's loving and devoted attention to our needs. Veronica, Tyler and myself are very grateful for and appreciative of the support we have received during this very sad time for which there really is no adequate preparation. Jan loved this blog and the support she received through it. In parting, we extend her love to you, and wish you all-the grace of beautiful lives and the love of shared friendships that made this blog a place to come to when we were feeling down and needed the support of friendly souls to lift us up to more than we could be.
With love and gratitude always,
Jan(She would want her name to be here), Pat, Veronica and Tyler.

Friday, April 21, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Friday, April 21, 2006-6:37PM Arizona time

We are still grieving beyond words that can measure the depth of our sorrow and tears.

Jan's obituary will run in the Arizona Republic on Tuesday and Wednesday the 25th and 26th of April. A memorial service will be held at Heritage Chapel, 6830 W. Thunderbird Road, Peoria,Arizona 85381, on Thursday, April 27 at 6:00PM.

Thanks to you all for the beautiful expressions of caring, love and kindness in the blog comments, and in many personal emails and telephone calls. You have eased our pain more than you know....
Pat

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Friday, April 21,2008-3:37AM Arizona time.

It is hard to write this message and know what to say.
Jan passed peacefully away at about 1:30AM this morning.
We are very sad at her passing, but relieved that her suffering
is no more. We said beautiful goodbyes and shared a love
we will miss more than words can tell.....

Thursday, April 20, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Thursday, April 20, 2006-6:43PM Arizona time

Jan is slipping more and more deeply into a comatose like state. She rarely responds to family or visitors , but occasionally becomes lucid enough to say just a few words. She is not choosing to eat or drink anything, and we are administering liquid morphine and atavan at least every hour. The usual abominal drainage produced 650cc and another 650cc was drained out of a recently installed urinary catheter.

Kim Richards said goodbye today, and this morning Veronica and Tyler laid by her side and held her hand. I have a very hard time thinking about any part of our life together without crying. There is something sweet about this sorrow because it is the wonderful memories that bring the tears, but, at times, the hurt is almost too much to bear.....
Pat

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Wednesday, April19, 2006- 6:43PM Arizona time

Jan was asleep most of the day, but woke up long enough to drink some small sips of Cranberry juice and Sierra Mist. Her spirit would like to share some happy times, but her body is just worn out. She enjoyed seeing the posters we made for the Memorial service, and we played some old home videos of past vacations and shared family time. She smiles and shares the moment's joy, and then the sandman carries her away to another land where she remembers all the wonderful experiences she shared with Veronica on many mother-daughter outings, like trips to Disneyland and the yearly trek to the State Fair.

Vickie and Sandy said their goodbyes and tears again fell like rain.

Today, I was moved to remember that God has given me the gift of Jan for 31 years. The gift was packaged in love and kindness and an enduring blend of help and courage that I would need more than two lifetimes to replace. At our family meeting yesterday, Jan asked for forgiveness for any words she may have spoken or actions she may have done which hurt us in any way. When it was Tyler's turn to respond, he said " Mom, I don't have anything to forgive you for, I have only good memories of you." And, so too, I have only good memories of you, my love, Jan.

Pat

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Tuesday, April 18,2006- 6:49PM Arizona time

I write the blog early this evening because Jan is asleep and will probably remain sleeping for the rest of the day and night.
Several days of "draining", including today, have left her
extremely fatigued and needing to sleep. The nurse reported that Jan's liver is shutting down, and we are almost at the point where no amount of draining will work to manage the excess fluid spilling into the abdomen.

We had a family meeting today and opened our hearts to each other sharing sadness, sorrow, love, hope and tears. We know that the end appears to be near....We don't know the day or the hour, but we are praying for a painless, peaceful transition.

We thank you for the Grace and strength of your prayers.

Pat

Monday, April 17, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Monday, April 17, 2006- 9:19PM Arizona time

Jan has been tired most of the day. Her abdomen was drained for the fifth day in a row-again more than 1200cc. So she slept for most of the day. The hospice nurse increased the Decadron medication by 4 miligrams a day hoping that the increase will help improve Jan's alertness and balance. A new pain medication was also added, morphine droplets which are placed under the tongue. They provide relief from pain quicker than the oxycodone pills she is currently taking.

Before the hospice nurse arrived, we were able to enjoy a short walk to the corner and back, and Jan happily devoured two popsicles later in the evening.

This was a quality day in that Jan didn't experience any pain and was able to enjoy the walk and the popsicles. The whole is indeed greater than the sum of its parts.

Today was a good day...

Pat

Sunday, April 16, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Easter Sunday, April 16, 2006-7:12pm ArizonaTime
As told to Pat by Jan:
Today our weekend sub nurse came early in the morning to drain my belly, which gave me some relief. After the hospice nurse left for the day, Veronica and I took a medium sized walk
down to the corner of 78thAve and Utopia and back again.
Although it was a beautiful day, it was already very hot by the time we started our walk. I was very tired and sleepy for most of the rest of the day and napped a lot. I did, however, wake up long enough to talk to most of my siblings on MSN.

Some good news, my fingernails are beginning to grow back, and my hair is again finding its place on the top of my head.

The days seem so much shorter now even though the sun stays up longer. I lose many hours to sleep and often wonder where the time went.

Thanks for all of your prayers and good wishes.

Jan (via Pat)

Saturday, April 15, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Saturday, April 15, 2006- 7:22PM Arizona time
Jan wanted to make this blog a team effort because her finger coordination is less than ideal, and it takes her a very long time to type even short sentences. As told to pat by Jan: "It was a quiet day interspersed with calls to Jim(my brother) and Kathy(my sister). We talked with Tom(another brother) via MSN.

The nurse drained my belly again today, and reported that I would probably need to be drained everyday. In addition to the side effects of the "draining" mentioned last night by Pat, I tend to easily lose my train of thought which makes it more difficult to carry on a conversation. However, on the physical side, the "draining" makes me feel better. It allows me to eat and drink normally, helps me be more mobile, and makes it easier for me to tie my own shoes.

I slept quite a bit today because I now recognize the need to follow my body's lead and just go ahead and take a nap when I am tired.

Blessings to all on this Easter Sunday...."

Jan

Friday, April 14, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Friday, April 14, 2006- 8:43PM Arizona time
Jan is very tired tonight. Her abdomen was drained for the second day in a row. Plans are for another draw tomorrow and again on Sunday. Removal of a large amount of fluid can disturb the body's electrolyte balance and send the blood pressure plummeting, if careful attention isn't paid to how much fluid is being drained at any given time. So, they are draining approximately 1000cc a day hoping that the amount of fluid remaining in the abdomen can be reduced to a tolerable level. Another side effect of these continued withdrawals is that they leave Jan very tired and sleepy. The hospice nurse said that is the common experience of many people who undergo this procedure.

Nevertheless, Jan was excited and happy to see and visit with Tami Hildago, and old friend and former teaching assistant in Jan's class. She flew in from the Sacramento area and the grand reunion was shared with Kathy Smoleski who had dropped by for a Friday morning visit.

We appreciated Mark & Kathy Grosland's Easter remembrance and forward to all who read this blog the hope of Holy Saturday and the joy of Easter!

Pat

Thursday, April 13, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Thursday, April 13, 2006- 6:12 pm Arizona Time
Jan writes: I decided to blog early; since I can't keep my eyelids open now, they will be even harder to stop at 9:00. I'm surprised, because I took a nap this afternoon. I was up early (5:00am) with cramps, and then ran the gamut of intestinal roles. Rebecca came and drained my jelly belly and it looks like we may have to drain a few days in a row to "catch-ups." My belly is soft, not bothering me, but the fluid in the belly is leaking out of the drain so we need to get a little more of the fluid to ease the pressure.

Today Pat and I eased the pressure on our wallets shopping a JoAnn's. We were suprised that there were so many people there in the middle of the day.

Some of you have asked about the "puppy." Gracie, our golden retriever, is about a year and a half old, however, she weighs in like a prize fighter. She still has the energy of a puppy. When she is up, she wags her tail against the house to get our attention.

This afternoon, I chatted with a former co-worker on the phone. That was probably the only time in the afternoon that I wasn't nodding off today. Only Pat's gentle callings and laughter kept me awake and free of whiplash!

Well, it's about Sun's Time, so I will end this post for the day. Blessings to all who visit here.

Jan

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Wednesday, April 12, 2006-7:56 pm Arizona Time
Jan Writes: This morning Pat and I did some chores together. In the middle of our work, we were surprised by the hospice social worker, who came on the wrong day. Here was an interesting tidbit for us. We consider ourselves to be on the north end of the city, until she said our home is actually the southern most area of her caseload, which extends through Maricopa County and up to Black Canyon City.

Since it is staying so warm during the day, it is time to clean the waterfall and pond, and restore Gracie's "wading pool." Pat cleaned out the bottom of the pond, got the motor up and running, and Gracie has been in and out of the pond all afternoon. This puppy loves the water! She'd splash around the pond, then race circles around the yard like she was in an obstacle course. This evening she, too, was a bit tired from all her exercise, and was about as mellow as I have ever seen.

The afternoon was devoted to Mr. Sandman. I got tired just watching Pat work, and when I laid down to rest, I was O-U-T out. When I woke up and could not believe it was 5:00pm! Enough of this laziness! I grabbed Tyler to come with me for a walk around the "big" block. Dinner followed, with no Suns game to watch, so I am taking care of some more social needs. Speaking about social needs: my brother Bill checked in with us on the computer, and we chatted about simple everday life, such as what we did today. Sometimes my life seems very normal, and it feels good to do such ordinary things.

Gracie update: I don't think we shared about the dog's trip to the vet. She went in to get her annual shots, and the doc told Pat that Gracie was too fat. Believe it or not, our puppy now weighs in at a whopping 85 pounds! I noticed last night her collar was too tight. Too many treats! She is now cut back a bit on her food, and we are giving her carrots in lieu of milk bones and dog treats. She now is wearing a new collar.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Tuesday, April 11, 2006--9:21 pm Arizona Time
Jan writes: Today was a roller-coaster day, physically, with ups and downs. Everything else was fine. The nurse came and drained my belly and flushed my port, with an intern doing very well with her first port experience. Then Pat and I did a few errands. I also read and napped a bit, and then...

UPS made a very special delivery to us: our friend/former co-worker, Vickie. "Brown" delivers more than packages, as the kind young man chose to lead her to our house when he learned she was lost. Thus, we were able to enjoy some yummy Cold Stone Creamery ice cream treats and Vickie's company.

I skipped watching the Suns game tonight, but was able to listen to the great second half comeback as I worked here at the computer. We had lots of comments to yesterday's blog, which means I will repeat something that I say alot. At the risk of being redundant, I want to thank everyone who is reading the blog, knowing that you have me in your heart and thoughts even when you don't comment. It makes the time spent blogging so worthwhile, and I truly thank each and everyone for your continued support. May all your days be filled with the same kind of joy I feel from the blog.

Monday, April 10, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Monday, April 10, 2006-9:27 p.m. Arizona Time

Greetings friends and family: I had a lazy day today, feeling a bit tired and snoozing at times. I did perk up a bit for a short walk with Pat, a lap around the block and back to pick up the mail. It was an absolutely beautiful day outside, and I had to be out for a bit to enjoy it. I did some reading, worked on returning long-overdue e-mails, and tonight the whole household is watching a dog show, admiring the dogs and choosing our own favorites in each breed.

Some good news: My fingernails are beginning to grow back, and after all these weeks of taking two different kinds of lasic pills, all that excess fluid below my belly has been removed. My legs are pretty much "normal." This allows me to move around and get in more positions while sitting, with more comfort. The miracles of modern medicine!

Right now, the hurdles we face are getting the digestive system regulated, and building strength so I can get up off the floor by myself.

I think I'm still supposed to work on my patience as well, and to learn to appreciate all the blessings I do have. I am so blessed with the love of family, friends, and as Mrs. Mac pointed out, complete strangers. How could you top that?!

Thank you all for visiting my blog and for "being there" for me in my time of need. Blessings to all, and good night.

Jan

Sunday, April 09, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Sunday, April 9, 2006-7:27 pm- Arizona time

Jan writes: After a quiet morning, it was a busy afternoon for me. First, a hospice nurse came to drain my Jelly Belly, using the new pump/vacuum. My jelly belly is a little smaller and softer now, but I still look pregnant, as there is a limit in what can be drawn. Too much fluid removal would alter the fluid balance in my body and cause problems. If you were here, I might ask if you want to feel the baby move. Ha ha! No, I really wouldn't do that to people, but it makes me laugh when I think about it. We were surprised to learn that this "Sunday" nurse lives nearby and her daughter went to school with our son, Tyler. He couldn't remember her until we pulled out a yearbook; he knew who she was, but never had any classes with her.

Not long after the nurse left, a couple of my friends and teaching cohorts, Joyce and Deb, came to cheer and comfort me. We chatted awhile, then it was dinner time and the Suns, which I will quickly return to when I finish writing here.

Today I felt well all day, but the eyes were very blurry. It makes it difficult to do anything visual, such as read, write at the computer, watch TV, or even to simply look at people as they talk. Fortunately, my hearing is fine, so I can enjoy many other things, such as music, the birds on the golf course, and the sound of my family members' and friends' voices.

The other good thing that I'm not sure I ever reported in the blog: The swelling in my legs is gone, or at least, nearly normal. It is so nice to be able to bend my knees!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Saturday, April 8,2006-8:10PM Arizona time

Tom flew out this morning after a heartwarming goodbye last night. There's nothing finer than to be in the hills of Carolina. And, tonight, that is where we will find him.

After a few days of feeling pretty good, Jan relapsed last night.
She experienced significant pain in her back and abdomen and some unanticipated nausea and vomiting which we were eventually able to control with an anti-emetic and the oxycodone"breakthrough" medication. We made it a point to be proactive and administered the same medication at 12:30AM. Consequently, today, Jan has been relatively pain free. The real secret to preventing these painful symptoms is attacking them long before they make their presence known and felt.

Jan rested today and attempted to read, but was challenged
by eyelids that begged to close, and often did....

Pat

Friday, April 07, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Friday, April 7, 2006-7:40 pm Arizona Time
Jan Writes tonight: It was a quiet day at our house as Tom was able to meet some friends for lunch on the east side. The rest of the day was spent chatting and of course, eating, always after much discussion about what exactly to eat. I had a rough morning with digestion issues, but did feel better as the day went on. There is nothing like having your family in your house to boost your spirits.

To all my family members, I can never thank you enough for disrupting your lives and traveling long hours to visit. I can see you when we talk on Messenger, but it just can't match the power of having you here and being able to hug you. I miss you already, and Tom barely walked out the door!
Rebecca, our hospice nurse came, drained my belly, and spent a long time talking with us; we are grateful for her tender caring and medical knowledge that she shares with us.

Apparently the blurred vision is common in cancer patients in situations like mine, and there is not much to do about it. It's not really a glasses correction issue, since I just got new glasses. It will probably be something that comes and goes. Since I am dealing with the eye focusing issue, I ask for your patience in deciphering my emails, which I know I need to write to many of you.


What's coming up: another tap on Sunday with the new suction pump that arrived this afternoon.

Many thanks again to Bill, Tom, and Kathy, and to Jim, who would have been here if he had not had surgery to diagnose and repair an ulcer. We wish him all the best as he goes home tomorrow from the hospital in Chicago.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Thursday, April 6, 2006-9:05PM Arizona time

Multi hugs to the departing Bill and Kathy.

Thanks to Sandy Chemsak, Kellie Hernandez and
Pam Miranda for helping with the Pride of Peoria dinner.

Today, Jan is experiencing some blurred vision, but she just had her eyes checked a couple of weeks ago, so we don't think it is related to a vision problem that is correctible with a change of lenses.Tomorrow' the hospice nurse returns to drain Jan's abdomen. The paracentesis is performed every two days and approximately 1200cc of fluid is collected each time the abdomen is drained.

Tonight, Tom treated us to Pizza which, at this moment, is still trying to settle in a stomach which is friendly, but stuffed.
All in all a very good day which leaves us remembering these words from a song in the Broadway musical, "Annie".

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

And a very good evening to all....
Pat

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Wednesday, April 5,2006- 9:43PM Arizona time.

Reel 2 of Jan's family history out of the Nicholas Family film archives. We watched Jan lug a Baritone as big as she was in the Junior High School band, enjoy more Christmases, grow into a swim suit that finally fit, manage a marriage and discover the joy of children.

Today, she also watched as her husband and family ascended the amphitheater peak in Thunderbird Park, while she walked the park loop with our daughter Veronica, worrying that she might be mistakenly arrested for WWI ( walking while intoxicated). She struggles with maintaining her balance and has a difficult time walking in a straight line. So she aborted the long walk she had planned and relaxed on a park bench waiting- while the sun followed us down the mountain.

We rounded out the day with a trip to the Old Country Buffet where brother Bill stunned the family by ingesting six plates of food and enjoying three trips to the dessert table. However, if the truth be known, we all got our money's worth......

Tomorrow, Bill and Kathy leave to return to Florida and Minnesota...Thanks for the memories!

Pat

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Tuesday, April 4, 2006-9:49PM Arizona time.

Tom, Jan's brother, brought 8mm film clips of Jan's early childhood and some of her later years. We watched reel one this evening. Jan was a cute little girl with curly blonde hair, running around in starched white and pink 1950's dresses and misfitted swimsuits, cavorting with her brothers, spending fun time at the family's summer lake retreat and enjoying the rewards of a "tomboy" Christmas. One year, at a very young age, her most prized Christmas gifts were a cowboy hat and a gun and holster set. And it was also revealed that one of her favorite summer pasttimes was riding the horses at the lake vacation site. She was even a closet astronomer for awhile, after receiving a telescope one snowy Christmas day.
Ah, the joys of a happy childhood remembered with affection and gratitude.

Some nausea and vomiting later in the evening, but we think we responded quickly enough with the antidotal medication to manage this episode and prevent recurring ones.

Generally the day was shaped by the sharing of positive experiences and the blessings of a wonderful "Remembrance of things past".

Pat

Monday, April 03, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Monday, April 3, 2006-9:05 Arizona time

Sometimes it is hard to tell where a day went. This is one of
those days. It seems like it is over almost before it has begun.
Jan and I shopped this morning for the family members- near and from afar.
Then they arrived, and we enjoyed another day of cordial discourse and funny stories. A lasagna dinner capped off our evening and opened the belt buckles a few notches.

Jim, Jan's older brother, called to say that tonight he was having emergency bowel surgery, and was disappointed he couldn't attend the family reunion. He is battling prostate cancer. We send out prayers and love to Jim and his family.

Most of the family members were tired early because when it is 8:00PM here, it is 10:00 and 11:00PM on their internal clocks. Time zone differences really do make a difference....

Now we look forward to tomorrow morning and some fresh chocolate covered donuts for breakfast.....And another day to wonder where the time goes....

Pat

Sunday, April 02, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Sunday, April 2, 2006-7:08PM Arizona time

We visited with Jan's brother and sister, Bill and Kathy and
toured the Lake Pleasant area. Kathy showed videos of her
children in Minnesota, and then we ate Chinese, and ate Chinese and ate Chinese some more....It was a very good day...

Jan had some pain and an upset stomach last night, but
the nausea was controlled by the medication Mediclophan and the pain was relieved by the "breakthrough" Oxycodone.

Jan's reserve of usable energy works to get her through
these daily family actiities and inspires a happy conclusion
to this day....

A nice warm day in the desert...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

WhatsupwithJan

WhatsupwithJan
Saturday,march 31, 2006-9:52PM Arizona time
One of Jan's brothers and her sister Kathy arrived within the
last two days. Bill is from Florida and Kathy is from Minnesota.
Tom from North Carolina and Jim from Illinois are scheduled to arrive on Monday and Tuesday. We very much appreciate the kindness of their visits and plan to enjoy some quality family time with them during the coming week.

Jan is responding to the new medications with improved mental alertness and a renewed sense of physical vitality.
We are so grateful...

Pat